Vietnamese Weddings

By Milena Santoro, CMM, CMP, PIDP, MS Productions, Edmonton, AB Canada

Photos by Ellen Ho, Hong Photography, Vancouver, BC Canada

Today’s couples wanting a hybrid Vietnamese and Western wedding often incorporate traditional ceremonies with a Western-style wedding. Once the couple is engaged and both sides of the families are in agreement, they begin planning by choosing a date and time for the ceremony.  A spiritual leader, astrologer, or even a fortune teller conducts this to select a date that will determine whether the couple’s future will be successful.

A Vietnamese wedding is influenced by Buddhist ideologies and consists of two main ceremonies:

Le an hoi—the betrothal ceremony

This ceremony involves asking permission to receive the bride. Some couples choose to hold this just days before the wedding. Typically, a respected representative of the groom's house leads and is followed by the groom's father, the groom (holding the bride’s bouquet), the groomsmen, and the rest of his family and close friends. The caravan visits the bride’s family home and presents trays or lacquered square or round boxes containing areca nuts and betel leaves, tea, cake, fruits, wines, and other delicacies as betrothal presents. These gifts are displayed on the family's ancestral altar where a formal tea and candle ceremony along with speeches follows. The number of gifts varies between six or eight, but never seven or nine since it is seen as bad luck. In Vietnamese beliefs, the even number and dominant red color bring luck to the couple and will lead to a rosy future. Here are some other le an hoi details:

• The parents of the groom ask for permission for their son to marrythe bride. 

• A family representative of the groom shows the gifts that they are presenting.

• Another family member of the groom introduces the rest of the family from eldest to youngest. The bride’s side is introduced in the same manner.

• The mother of the bride fetches her daughter who is dressed inan Áo dài, the Vietnamese national long dress, and presents her tothe groom.

• The groom presents the bouquet to the bride as a sign of acceptance and gratitude.

The procession then brings the bride back to the groom's house. The groom's family members that did not take part in the procession light firecrackers in celebration. The newlyweds are brought to the groom's ancestral altar, where another ceremony takes place, and the bride is introduced to the groom's relatives. In years past, the bride was also brought to the couple's room and shown their marriage bed.

Le cuoi —the wedding ceremony 

Traditional and modern symbols of marriage are often featured during Vietnamese marriage ceremonies as decorations on the wedding umbrellas, lacquer gift boxes (or the red cloth that covers them), or even decorations in the homes of both the bride and groom. Vietnamese Catholics incorporate a Buddhist/Church ceremony, in which the couple exchanges wedding bands and jewelry.

As for attire, some modern brides change into three different gowns throughout the festivities—the white gown worn at the church ceremony, a western-style dress worn at the end of the evening during the dancing, and a third traditional Áo dài worn during the traditional le an hoi ceremony and table visits at the reception.

The reception

That evening, the celebration continues at a wedding venue, such as a hotel, restaurant, or community hall, with lush décor and flowers.  The menu consists of a seven- to ten-course meal, typically starting with cold platters followed by hot dishes such as seasoned lobster, seafood hot pot, and other Vietnamese and Chinese banquet dishes, often ending with western-style wedding cake, desserts, and fruit platters. During the reception, the bride and groom visit each table to receive blessings from the guests attending and receive gifts, traditionally in the form of money in an envelope.  This may also include the ceremonial tea blessing.

The Vietnamese wedding celebration lasts throughout the night with food, speeches, and dancing. And, in traditional fashion, the reception ends with a bang of fireworks. These are intended to scare off bad spirits so the couple’s future begins on the right note.